My Blog List

Friday 7 June 2013

TEMPTATION: Who to blame?


Dear Lord, please bless Tyler Perry because for the first time, we can actually see a man has a lot of roles to play in a marriage asides taking care of bills and providing for the family. And it can also be one of the answers to the famous question: WHY DO WOMEN CHEAT? I am not trying to justify women for cheating; I am just a peace advocate. This is my opinion. We always look at things from the male side, has anyone heard what she is going through?

 
Marriage is hard work. Necessary to keep and to do so, one has to try new things TOGETHER. Go online and do some research, thanks to the sophisticated gadgets that challenge internet providers, internet is more affordable and easy to access. There is absolutely nothing one cannot find on the internet.

 
Communication is also key. Not just talking about house bills and other responsibilities or opinions and ideas but pleasure, needs and fantasies. SEX! Sex is not a responsibility, it is pleasure. “How do you like it?” “I won’t think less of you if you show or tell me. I just need you to be satisfied.” Communicate and satisfy or be satisfied

 
In the movie, he pushed her away; he saw competition and ignored it. A woman knows when she has a competitor, if she cares, she becomes overly protective which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. Either way, she knows and buckles up. “Flesh is weak but the Spirit is willing” that's why it’s important to be spiritually sound BUT THEY WERE NOT.

 
Men need to understand that some women know how to bottle up emotions and go on like they're not hurt about things they're mad about. That is what makes women UNIQUE. We are absolutely unpredictable. What we love today, we may dislike tomorrow but you can at least make some efforts to show you care which we definitely will appreciate. Little efforts count.

 
Back to our movie, her husband forgot her birthday 2 years in a row. SERIOUSLY! Who does that? Forget it once and you will remember even in your grave. Men, ignore us when we say it is okay, because it is a lie. Surprise us! Make up for it! TRY to make us happy, we will appreciate the effort you put in achieving it.

 
He bluntly told her she'll have her practice in 10-15 years time. HELLO! She knows that already, but when telling us reality, please sugarcoat it. It is not just sweeter but also encouraging. Who says miracles don’t happen; she doesn’t have to wait that long to start her practice. ENCOURAGEMENT is KEY always. BELIEF AND HAVE FAITH like she does. The same faith and believe some women have that their cheating or abusive boyfriends will change after marriage. Sometimes they are right, most times they are wrong. But don’t worsen the depressed situation.

 
He kept doing the guitar act to make her happy; who ever said exploring other options is a sin or a bad thing? Be crazy sometimes. Be sweetly wild. Be creative. We are all children, the childlike spirit to have fun and be free spirited is in us all BUT adulthood can be too stressful for us and we may feel embarrassed. But that’s why he/she is your spouse. Be FUN!

 
She came home crazy and wanted sex out of the bedroom, he scolded her. At that point, he killed her morale and even if she wanted to tell him anything, she knew he'll judge her and scold her more. Sex is not a responsibility which he didn't see that way. Allow the 5 minutes madness/craziness. It is perfectly healthy. Flow with it.

 
We love to be admired, if not all d time, but sometimes those every simple comments like; "You look hot/sexy/beautiful!" “Sexy mama!” “Don’t allow any man woo you!”could go a long way. I term it “Confidence Booster.” We can feel the PRIDE and JEALOUSY in the statement; meaning he cares and make us feel on top the world.

 
She tried to fight him(the devil in the red car) but couldn’t because she wasn't spiritually strong and her husband was too busy for her. That they have been married for long doesn’t mean he can abandon her in all ways including emotionally and expect her to be sane. She needed attention and she finally succumbed to the devil. Whereas he knew what she was lacking and used it against her. No matter how uptight a woman can be, she can still be broken, may not be easy but can be broken. All you need do is PUSH THE RIGHT BUTTONS AT THE RIGHT TIME!

 
Using Adam and Eve for instance, it was easier to convince Eve who had just gotten to the garden than Adam because we're sometimes weaker that's why we need men's protection. We are the WEAKER SEX. We may not like to admit it, but it is the obvious TRUTH. We are more gullible. That is why brothers, younger or older, try to protect their sisters. It’s a natural thing.

 
Spiritually, men are to help women ascend to a level above them so women can be strong enough to shield not just the man but all others around her like an umbrella does.

 

So beautiful readers, with these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince not confuse you that marriage isn't only about the woman but the man also and the absence of Almighty GOD is the invitation of the Devil.

 
Please, I am allowed to express my opinion, so feel free to express yours. Please let us stop living in denial and face reality. Before judging, listen to both sides. ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM.
 

 

21 comments:

  1. Gbam!! I gree o... First to comment!*hides* mamacious#

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  2. You couldn't have been more clear about this issue. There is work after marriage - keep ur spirituality up and take care of yourself just like when he first saw you on the road, etc. Because you are in the house doesn't mean you should relax. Women need adventure and excitement, also men. But most men and women think they do not have to work for it. Like I say use all your weapons so the devil has no change to toil with your emotions or peace of mind and most importantly your marriage. Great post dear.

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  3. Luv this post!well said

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  4. This is piece you give to those about to marry,those dating and even those married for 40yrs.

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    1. Coming from a man who has bn married for almost 10yrs, I appreciate your comment a lot.

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  5. Sensational words that could revivify marriage in peril.

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  6. Its an eye opening for everybody. Have learnt my lesson, May God help us to see the signs and not learn in a hard way.

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  7. Legit! Classical eye opener.

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  8. Erm, so all the wahala is over 2 forgotten birthdays?? I am in trouble then.
    Marriage is hear no evil, see no evil, say no evil. You cannot win every battle.
    Most importantly, I feel your post makes the menfolk look bad. I am not saying they are all good, still, women get wahala.
    There is a warri saying, if you do jagajaga;you go see jagajaga. As you sow, so shall you undoubtedly reap.

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    1. Not just the birthdays but the fact he was not taking care of his woman and abandoning her emotionally. Poor, innocent and naïve woman got all the LUST,care and attention from another(he said and did the right things at the right time) and she fell. She lacked experience. This is not for the menfolk to look bad but to try to understand women as we are regarded as complicated and difficult to understand. And its not just women who have roles to play but men also do to keep a marriage.

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  9. Erm, so all the wahala is over 2 forgotten birthdays?? I am in trouble then.
    Marriage is hear no evil, see no evil, say no evil. You cannot win every battle.
    Most importantly, I feel your post makes the menfolk look bad. I am not saying they are all good, still, women get wahala.
    There is a warri saying, if you do jagajaga;you go see jagajaga. As you sow, so shall you undoubtedly reap.

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  10. In all, adultery just messes the whole thing up. Both parties need a lot of work...history too matters "was he/she like this before now? Were there signs i ignored at the early stages? etc" May God help us make the best decisions o...amen!

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    1. Yes adultery messes it all. I don't support it that is why we have to take preventive measures. Thank u Bella

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  11. Nice write up. eye opener. This write-up actually made me go see the movie 'Temptation' today and I must confess that in as much as we are scolding the husband for not being man enough, the bulk of the blame should go to the wife. She did not appreciate the 'good man' in her husband instead 'the phenomenal man' in another guy, which actually came with repercussion. So my advice is for good men to up their game abit (at least not forgetting their spouse's birthday) and wife too should learn to take thier husband for who he is or at least communicate (let him know your expectation). Above all, every good or bad situation needs God. Three Gbosa for this write up.

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  12. I also did watch the movie about a week ago and the only thing I kept on thinking was "why wouldn't this woman tell her husband how she felt and how it was affecting their marriage" her husband did indeed love her, even though he slacked a couple of times, but I don't believe he wouldn't have sat up if she had talked to him about it. No relationship is without its challenges, there will ALWAYS be other people who are more exiting, look much better and have more money than your partner, that doesn't justify you cheating on them.

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